Dick Cheese

You meet a great guy. You decide to take things to the next level.You’re back at his place, the lights are dim, pants are off, his penis is in your mouth. But what’s that funny white stuff on his dick? Did I just…? Oh. My. God.

 

Does IV therapy really cure hangovers? 

Listen, we’ve all over done it. Took that whole party like a rock star thing a little too seriously. I may or may not have just overdone it this past Sunday…

We’ve all been in a place where we really need to fix the hangover and we need to fix it fast. Enter stage left, IV therapy. But does the shit really work?

When you have a hangover it is your body’s way of telling you that you are an idiot. Or that you are very severely dehydrated. Or both. We can drink all the water, tea, Gatorade, Pedialyte we want and they will help the hangover to varying degrees, but nothing will hydrate you faster than actually putting those lost electrolytes, vitamins, and minerals directly back in your tank. This is where I’ll be therapy comes in.

We use this great concoction in the hospital called a banana bag. People who are chronic alcoholics, going through withdrawl, and in some cases just people who are severely dehydrated, get this bag of IV fluids. It’s yellow because of the liquid multi-vitamin that’s in it… hence the name “Banana Bag.” Thiamine, folic acid, magnesium sulfate, all kinds of yummy shit is in this bag to replace what you lost trying to be Scott Disick the night before.

For the record, the best way to prevent a hangover is not to get one in the first place. Drink lots of water or Pedialyte during the day if you know you’re going to be drinking at night. But let’s be real, how many of us actually take the time to do that?

 

 

The Daily Dose- An Aspirin a day now keeps the cancer away?

Aspirin has clear and proven benefits for reducing heart disease and stroke. In fact, you should keep some old school, uncoated aspirins with you at all times in case you or someone you know is having the big one. But now some scientists are suggesting that Aspirin may actually help prevent cancer, too. WTF?

Type 2 diabetes and on insulin? You are not a failure 

“You have to start taking insulin.”

Those 6 words can be some of the most devastating words anyone with Type II diabetes can hear. Immediately, you feel like a failure. What’s wrong with me? I diet, I exercise, I do everything everyone tells me to do … and now I’m on insulin. What. The. Fuck?

But the failure isn’t yours.

Why is my poop green? 

One of the things I love most about healthcare is that everyone seems to be fascinated with poop. Particularly, the color of poop. Usually, changes and the color of your poop are no big deal. However, sometimes those changes can indicate something much more serious is going on.

Thus begins the poop series here on Ask The NP, cause ya’ll have a LOT of questions about poop. Like, why in the hell is my poop green and what does that mean?