Dick Cheese

You meet a great guy. You decide to take things to the next level.You’re back at his place, the lights are dim, pants are off, his penis is in your mouth. But what’s that funny white stuff on his dick? Did I just…? Oh. My. God.



Does IV therapy really cure hangovers? 

Listen, we’ve all over done it. Took that whole party like a rock star thing a little too seriously. I may or may not have just overdone it this past Sunday…

We’ve all been in a place where we really need to fix the hangover and we need to fix it fast. Enter stage left, IV therapy. But does the shit really work?

When you have a hangover it is your body’s way of telling you that you are an idiot. Or that you are very severely dehydrated. Or both. We can drink all the water, tea, Gatorade, Pedialyte we want and they will help the hangover to varying degrees, but nothing will hydrate you faster than actually putting those lost electrolytes, vitamins, and minerals directly back in your tank. This is where I’ll be therapy comes in.

We use this great concoction in the hospital called a banana bag. People who are chronic alcoholics, going through withdrawl, and in some cases just people who are severely dehydrated, get this bag of IV fluids. It’s yellow because of the liquid multi-vitamin that’s in it… hence the name “Banana Bag.” Thiamine, folic acid, magnesium sulfate, all kinds of yummy shit is in this bag to replace what you lost trying to be Scott Disick the night before.

For the record, the best way to prevent a hangover is not to get one in the first place. Drink lots of water or Pedialyte during the day if you know you’re going to be drinking at night. But let’s be real, how many of us actually take the time to do that?




Why is my poop green? 

One of the things I love most about healthcare is that everyone seems to be fascinated with poop. Particularly, the color of poop. Usually, changes and the color of your poop are no big deal. However, sometimes those changes can indicate something much more serious is going on.

Thus begins the poop series here on Ask The NP, cause ya’ll have a LOT of questions about poop. Like, why in the hell is my poop green and what does that mean?


Wanna measure your sexual performance? Put this on your dick.

From the annals of “nothing is sacred” there is now a fitness tracker wearable device for… drumroll… your dick.
But, there may actually be some health benefits to this. Are you or your partner willing the strap one of these on while having sex in the name of health? Let me know your thoughts in the comments!


The Daily Dose – “She said I gave her Chlamydia …” 

Chlamydia is one of the most rampant sexually transmitted infections (STI). It’s believed that half of us will have a STI at some point in our life, and if it ain’t HPV it’s probably Chlamydia. Or Both.

Certainly some STIs are worse than others, but hearing the news that you have ANYTHING can be shocking to say the least. Especially when hearing it from last weekend’s random hook up. Whos name you barely remember. And she’s calling to tell you that you gave HER chlamydia.

Hold on a second. How do you know she didn’t give it to you? And more importantly, what the hell should BOTH of you do now …


The Daily Dose – Is exercise killing your libido? 

You are bombarded with the message every day. EXERCISE MORE! It’s great for your heart. It’s great for your brain. It’s great for your butt. But is too much if it bad for your sex drive?

Some new research is suggesting that maybe too much exercise is why we aren’t banging everyday like we want to be. But what is too much? And why might too much exercise be screwing with our … well … screwing?


The Daily Dose – Best cure for menstrual cramps ever! 

Bringing life into the world is an amazing gift. All the other shit you have to deal with to make that happen, is certainly not.

Like your cramps. Holy hell. Ladies, I’m sorry you have to deal with that mess. There is absolutely no reason that you should go through life-altering, vomit-inducing, rage-provoking abdominal pain just because your uterine lining decides to recycle itself every 28-ish days.

But the survival of our species thanks you for your sacrifice. Seriously. So in return, there is an all natural and FREAKING AWESOME way to help you relieve said pain.
Grab your partner, or favorite toy, or favorite hand, click play below and get to relieving some cramps!


The Daily Dose – Do your ball(s) hang low? 

Your testicles are quite the specimen of evolutionary technology. Yup, those fellas in your sack that usually get ignored save for high quality oral sex or high velocity impact.


You might think you know your boys pretty well. But did you know that one hangs lower than the other. And that one is actually bigger than the other? And it’s not usually the same testicle?

Granted, most of us don’t spend a ton of time staring at ourselves in the mirror completely naked. But I suggest you do just that today.

Usually after a nice hot shower is best. Stand in front of the mirror naked, bathroom door locked. Relax all your abdominal muscles. Let your gut hang out, and check our your family jewels in the mirror.

I’ll all but guarantee you that you’ll see one of your boys dippin’ lower than the other. And it’s more than likely the left one.


Check out today’s Daily Dose to learn exactly why and for another good excuse to play with ‘em!


The Daily Dose – Guess who’s having lots of sex and not using condoms? 

Condom sales and use are down BIG TIME for one very specific, very sexually active age group. And no one is able to pin down EXACTLY why. Advances in treatment of STDs and HIV? Laziness? Complacency? Anarchy?

I have my thoughts, but I really wanna know your thoughts feel good family. I break down this disturbing trend in today’s Daily Dose!


The Daily Dose – Vomit AND diarrhea?! 

The stomach bug. Viral gastroenteritis. OH GOD IM DYING! 
Those are three of the most common names for one of the most contagious viruses known to humans. Norovirus
Another one of those names could be … WASH YOUR DAMN HANDS AND YOU PROBABLY WON’T GET IT virus …
There is a subtle hint as to how to avoid getting this nasty bug. I break down a bit more about Norvirus, how to avoid it and what to do if you have it in today’s Daily Dose!
P.s. – I want to hear your best puke, diarrhea stories. Like that time I shit on myself in my car … 


The Daily Dose – “I think I broke my penis bone!” 

Have you damaged your penis before? We have a member of the feel good family out there with a broken penis, show him some love in the comments! 
It’s LGBT Tuesday feel good family. And this question made me cringe and squirm and frankly… grab my genitalia.
“James, help! I think I broke my penis bone.”
 Oh. My. God. Ouch. 
Now we only got into a few of the details about what actually happened to this poor unfortunate soul. While he gave me permission to talk about this on the daily dose, he did ask that I leave out the specific details. Your wish is my command. 
First and foremost, if you are having sex, you hear a pop or a crack and you have a bend in your penis that $#@%&! hurts? GO TO THE ER RIGHT AWAY! 
This is a fantastic opportunity to talk a little bit about the anatomy of the penis. There are also some really interesting evolutionary anthropologic facts about the penis in our human ancestry.
For the record, there is no bone in your penis. But apparently we USED to have one. Archaeologists believe that our ancestors had bones in their number one appendage, but 1.9-ish million years ago said bone started to disappear because monogamy. The thought is that we really only needed to get our dick hard for long enough to have sex with one person at a time, for short amounts of time, therefore we didn’t need the aid of an actual bone. 
Clearly these archaeologists were unaware of my 20s. I digress …
Even though you don’t have a bone in your penis, you can still do some serious damage to your lil homie when it is erect. That damage can also be accompanied by a gut-wrenching cracking or popping sound, bruising, bleeding and can PERMANENTLY damage your bestie if not treated in time. I think I just got nauseous … 
I break down how you can damage your erect penis and what to do about it in today’s Daily Dose! 

Can I get pregnant if I’m already pregnant?

Seems like a silly question, doesn’t it? The type of question that super annoying girl from 7th grade sex-ed class would ask. But super-annoying girl was on to something. And the already embarrassed PE teacher who was forced to teach you the birds and the bees was instantaneously more embarrassed … and probably wrong.